Long Rollercoaster Ride Ends in Productive Night
This is my vent to whoever gives a shit post. Things have been really crazy for me emotionally the past few weeks.
First, I heard that my grandfather (whom is the only male role model I have ever had) is not doing well and in and out of the hospital for heart failure and other issues. He is across the country and there is not really anything I can do about the situation. I am frustrated because my cousin is living with them (my grandparents) and leaching off them rather than being of any help. It really pisses me off because he has no job, no kids, and no responsibilities and if I was in that situation and there I’d be taking good care of everything rather than taking advantage of everything.Then my sister had a miscarriage. She was really traumatized (obviously) and I have had a hard time knowing what to say to help her through this. This has been difficult because we just found each other a little over a year ago (neither of us knew the other existed). So we have become close in a really short time, yet I feel hesitation to really push to contact her and make sure she is alright. I send her messages here and there but I want to give her space and let her come to me when she is ready.
The same day, I found out a good friend and co-worker had been diagnosed with breast cancer. This was rough as she came to me crying about the process of surgery and radiation she has to go through. She was upset about telling her twin boys and refused to do so as they are in HS and had mid terms going on…she did not want to stress them out and cause them to not be able to focus, understandably. She is doing well at this point; she had a very successful surgery and is back to work and going through radiation therapy.
Lastly, a few days ago I found out an acquaintance of mine had been in a horrible car accident. He rolled his truck numerous times, was thrown out and crushed by the truck. He suffered bleeding / clotting in his brain, severed spleen and liver, and all bones in his face were crushed. As of today, he has made it through brain surgery successfully but is still in a coma. This is rough for me beyond the fact of knowing him because he is in this sort of “love triangle” per say with two of my very close friends. One of them his high school sweetheart who still feels deeply for him and the other is his ex-fiancé and has a child with him. They have both contacted me for support and neither seems fond of the other’s involvement. I am just trying to be supportive and stay outta the drama.
So my thoughts and prayers go out to all those involved in these tragic events above. In the meantime I find myself absorbing emotions and feeling very stressed and like a walking time bomb to those around me. The only thing that seems to keep me feeling sane is Master’s limits and control over me. Where he is still learning I find him being too lenient toward me at times and I get pissed off because I feel this overwhelming need for him to ensure structure. This led me to be snappy and rude to Master yesterday and I was extremely thankful for his reaction to my mini-breakdown.
Master had to work and I started a project of performing a rebuild on the toilet that is broken. I really wanted to surprise him and have it done when he came home. I needed to keep busy to get everything off my mind. Unfortunately the toilet project was a complete bitch. I got the old tank off with no issues but when I began to disassemble the parts I had no luck and was missing a monkey wrench that I really needed to complete the job. So, being the kinda girl that will find whatever I need to get the job done, I used a blow torch to burn the stubborn parts out of the toilet tank. This worked rather well however, the fire got a bit outta control. This was still OK though because I had not tested the fire extinguisher and now I know it works very well. I wish I could have got a picture but grabbing camera verses fire extinguisher- yeah…
By this time Master was home and working on his post for the blog from our Friday night adventures. I was getting angry that Master kept leaving the things he was working on to try to help me and just wanted him to be more demanding and less helpful. But in the end I needed him to help me assemble the toilet tank so I sucked it up, for a bit anyway. I then began to lash out and be rude to Master. I said he did not want to be my Master and he was not enforcing the rules that he himself created. Master said I was defiant and needed to stop pushing his limits so much while he is still trying to learn.
Then Master reacted in a way I will never forget; he said in a very calm, yet stern voice, “I am not going to take it…I am done.” There was a long pause and I was too shocked to speak- did he mean he was done with our adventure and new lifestyle? What have I done? These were the things going through my mind. Master then said “I am not going to accept you taking out all the stress of these events occurring with people you care about out on me.” He then made me sit in the corner and I cried and stared at the wall for sometime while listening to Master give me alternatives of continuing with the lifestyle or not. After I calmed down, he finished his discussion with me and we both expressed our desire to continue in this new lifestyle. We also made great stride in Master laying down some rules and punishments. We will both be working on our “roles” more diligently.
(I found myself in a tough spot of how to punish viemoira for her behavior. The previous time that she had a massive blowout, I tried spanking as a means to punish which was unsuccessful. As a result I decided to try a new approach that was suggested in a comment from MJ’s Slave, which was having viemoira get no attention while in her corner instead of extra attention through spanking. -MH)
The night turned around completely from this point on. I felt much better and was very thankful for Master’s reaction and punishment. I am so glad Master is putting his foot down with me as it makes me feel less emotionally vunerable and more stable. I need him and I need this lifestyle more than ever right now. I really want this to be a “lifestyle” or adventure of our lifetime and not just a short term or temporary thing.After getting the kiddo to bed (our other kid was gone with her father), Master and I worked on routering wood so I could stain it to be put up on the ceiling we are working on in our kitchen. I love watching Master Homis using power tools; it is such a turn on to me…
Master then began looking through his music collection for bondage related music to add to a playlist on our blog. I cleaned and shop vac’d the basement to take care of the mess from the fire extinguisher and the sawdust. I ensured Master had his beer when he was getting low and stained the first set of wood. I then sat with Master and he allowed me to play on Twitter and listen to Podcasts from PizzaBabe (whom I just met on twitter and very much enjoy).
Master and I sat laughing and talking and listening to PizzaBabe’s podcasts; having discussions about the topics covered in them. We then went through tons of music that Master had on an external hard drive and listened to various tunes trying to find any that would be applicable to the bondage themed playlist. We had many laughs over joking about putting songs in the playlist that would make absolutely no sense. Master and I were up until 3:30a.m. just working on picking out music. It was good times!
(I had to put at least one silly song in the playlist, anyone figure out which one yet? -MH)
We then went to bed and Master began to touch me all over. He whispered in my ear that he wanted to taste his pussy and make it creamy wet. I was very turned on and Master wasted no time going down and licking my pussy. It felt amazing and I had an enormous orgasm I could feel myself holding back on. I wanted to cum all over his cock. Master finally moved up my body, licking and biting my erect nipples on the way and thrust his hard cock deep into my drenched pussy. It was not long before we both came, exploding at the same time. I looked down in amazement to see that I had squirted everywhere (something I have been working on and only successful at a few time now…but I am getting there).Master made a comment about feeling my juices running down the shaft of his cock. We then moved and saw a delightful site. I asked Master to take a picture of my cum. It sparkled all over the sheets in various large patches and I was so proud of my squirting.
(I knew there was a reason to get a smartphone with a camera -MH)
Master and I then curled up and he held me tight as we drifted off to sleep.
~Viemoira
| 2.7 |
February 4th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I know how stressful it can be when everything is happening all at once and you are trying to cope with it all. I’ve been on my own roller coaster ride lately.
I hope things calm down for you soon, Viemoira. I’m glad you were able to have a good productive night after it all.
I’m also glad Master Homis is so supportive and strong for you.
BIG HUGS
padme amidala