Day 2 Mostly Survived
i am sitting naked, doused in aloe as i am extremely burnt. It is after classes and before dinner…not much time but i feel compelled to write. I am extremely horny as Master Homis and I have been sending videos back and forth and the one he sent me made me very hot and wet!
Being away from Master Homis and family has been such a struggle in many ways. i believe that having only been living the M/s lifestyle for a short period of about 4-5 months has increased the struggle for me. Master has just begun a stricter implementation of training recently. Therefore…. i am having the hardest time writing this….. so i’m going to just run with my random thoughts right now…. Master implements more strict training when right there to ensure i’m learning well. i am still having a hard time with Sir right there to discipline me but it is getting better.
Now i am across country, Angry i am not there to take care of Him/ Master made rules for bedtime, drinking, wake-up, masturbating, exercise and going out. Doing great exercising Did good first night; not great last night but was still safe just a few poor choices. Very hard with everyone in mentality of work hard - play harder. Used to being the “entertaining drunk” and cannot so feeling outta place.
Everyone i know from past conferences expects me to be party animal, to be out all night. They laugh at the idea of me going back to my room by 12 and this is truly the first time i find myself really feeling this adjustment of being different than i was and controlled. Even though in forethought i feel pissy that i cannot do things i usually do, if i analyze further i see i always did them because others expected it of me and not because i wanted to.
An in depth analysis leaves me feeling like i am going to cry. Slap in the face i have never been who i wanted just who was expected by ignorant masses. i am just beginning to be who i really want to be; my Master’s slave… what He wishes of me, for the person whom is intelligent and knows me better than i know myself, for Him.
~vie
| 2.7 |
March 11th, 2008 at 6:34 am
These changes have had difficult moments for both of us. I truly believe that as we get through each of the hard moments, we come to appreciate the much more common easy / happy moments. The difficult times strengthen us and help us grow into who and what we really are.
I must say that I’ve been lost while you have been on your trip also, not knowing what to do with myself, missing even the smallest things that people generally take for granted, things like the sound of your footsteps or breathing while your sleeping, the silly talks while having a cigarette about the dogs sounding like elephants.
I know that it won’t be long before your back and we will both have what we are desiring oh so bad right now.
I would almost say continue our training, but I think that the trip on it’s own has been a bit of trianing. For me a matter of learning how to come up with rules that will ensure continued discipline and structure, and how to implement those rules. For you a matter of really becoming accustomed to restrictions, structure, and understanding motives behind them.
I love you and wikk see you tonight.
-MH
March 12th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
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