Reflections on Respect, Discipline, and Trust.
So far viemoira’s branding has been healing excellent, although she does keep scratching at it. At the rate it’s going it should just be a few more days before it’s all healed over with new skin. Once that is done I can employ a few ideas that will really bring the branding out for the long run. She has gotten to the point where she doesn’t need a bandage over it as long as she doesn’t scratch at it. A definate plus considering viemoira had one of her defiant moments that resulted in severe punishment to the other cheek.
I truly feel for viemoria when she has her breakdowns, they are all seeded with past traumas that induce fear in her, as result she pushes me away as hard as she can during those times. One thing I won’t stand for though is disrespect and in the past it has resulted in various forms of punishment, but mostly it is loss of her collar for a few days until I feel she understands why it happened.
I must say that in this instance she did very well, while she did get punished severely, it was not a situation of me forcefully taking her collar back nd making her earn it, or having it ruin our night.
I am partly to blame in the most recent situation and previous ones. As her master, it is my responsibility to make sure she is doing ok when we party, and as such I had not been doing a very good job of it. I had let her have too many drinks and as a result she got out of hand. The things that were said to disrespect, her fault, letting her get to that point, my fault. All of which could probably have been avoided, had I handled things earlier in the night better.
Either way, we can’t change the past, only learn from it and apply what we learn towards the future, something viemoira has been getting much better with.
Anyway, we did have our dispute, she did manage to bring out a part of me that she is always asking to see, but I think rarely likes it when she does. I had gotten out the paddle I made for her, the first toy I made and spanked viemoira’s ass on the unbranded side to let her know how very displeased I was, she knows I hate bringing out the vile ‘toy’ because of how rough it can be. I think at that point she realized I was serious and decided to calm down. We ended up in our “dungeon” Talking over what had occurred and what going to be done about it.
I told viemoira to bend over the weight bench and get ready for punishment, she said she was prepared for it and I began the most painful of punishments. Upon her request I did spank her with some other toys both where punishment to place and others including a strike with the slapper right below the branding. She took every bit of it to the point where she called her safeword.
I personally feel that this was a great moment for learning, both on my part and hers. I learned a bit more about punishment and what I was capable of, she learned that I was willing to take the steps needed to discipline her and hopefully learned of greater trust by knowing that her safeword is in place to protect her if things do get too harsh.
Since that night viemoira has had a reminder in the way of her discolored ass cheek, a reminder to myself as well that we cannot let things get out of hand and that I have much to learn as well. Also a reminder of why I dislike the paddle so much. In the end, it does show how much we have both learned over the past months and I am so very proud of my slave viemoira for learning from her past and handling the situation in a much less destructive manner, A massive step in the right direction. It also shows that there is still so much more for us each to learn in our adventure together.
This post was supposed to be about the weekend and include pictures and such. Seems once I got started it went in a whole different direction than I had originally expected, but I do feel that it was something that was important for others to read and for them to learn us a bit better instead. I guess that means another post in the works real soon, so keep your eyes open. 
-MH
| 3.2 |
May 27th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Master- thank you for growing into this lifestyle with me; for we both have much to learn but i think the most important factor is that we both know what we are striving for. Thanks again for seeing areas to work on and helping me to realize that no one is perfect. Yours always and forever…
~viemoira